Episodio 1x1 2015-01-05 11:29:04Galavant: Here's the thing: I love her, Richard. She's the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of in the eve. And you can offer her great fame, and you can offer her great fortune, but only I can offer her great love. And that is what she chooses.Madalena: Actually... Galavant: Hmm?! Madalena: I'm gonna go with the fame and fortune. Jester: Banana. King Richard: Banana who? Jester: Banana. King Richard: Banana who? Jester: Orange. King Richard: Orange who? Jester: "Orange" you glad I didn't say "banana" again? ♪ ♫ Galavant, Galavant! Blah, blah, blah, blah, Galavant! I want her, need her, crave her, yes, it's true But she is not the only thing I desperately want to do I want to shoot him with a crossbow I want to stab him in the eye I want to liberate his head from his neck And then punt the bloody wreck sky high! Oh! I want to hurl him out a window And shove explosives where the sun don't shine Want to skewer him with swords Then slowly twist them All around his reproductive system Won't that be divine? Then she'll be mine! ♪ ♫ :) |
Episodio 1x2 2015-01-05 11:52:28"You've been screaming like a castrated hyena for the past 10 minutes." (Isabella)"Oh, poop! I got gravy on my tummy flowers." (King Richard) "Any man can get knocked down. The hero is the man who gets back up." (Isabella) ♪ ♫ You're frigid and demanding, I shudder at your call Whenever you come near me, my flesh begins to crawl But sometimes there are moments I'm not repelled at all Maybe you're not the worst thing ever You're utterly disgusting, I loathe your manly stink I see your mouth start moving, and, God, I need a drink And then from out of nowhere, I'll look at you and think Maybe you're not the worst thing ever You're worse than crabs Worse than scurvy Worse than lice or plague But truth be told You're growing on me just like mold And though you're so annoying So easy to despise I know there's something scary Behind your cold, dead eyes And though I'll never like you It's nice to realize Maybe I shouldn't quite say "never" Maybe you're not the worst thing ever ♪ ♫ :) |
Episodio 1x3 2015-01-12 14:42:13King Richard: What else did you do around here for fun?Eunuch: We used to have balls. King Richard: Gareth, did you hear what the eunuch said? You cannot write this stuff! You sure can't! King Richard: Hey, Valencians... How many Valencians does it take to win a war? All: How many? King Richard: More than you had! Isabella: The first time I saw your son, it was a dark and cloudy day, but your son with an "o" was my sun with a "u". Sid's parents: (...) We don't know how to read... :) |
Episodio 1x4 2015-01-12 14:51:18King Richard: I cannot believe my queen is cheating on me with that joker.Gareth: He's a jester, sir. King Richard: I know he's a jester, Gareth! I was insulting him by calling him a joker, like when you call someone a clown. Gareth: But people like clowns... King Richard: Damn it, man! Would you just let me vent?! Gareth: Knock, knock. King Richard: Who's there? Gareth: It's a [Beep] you [Beep] thing up [Beep] you in the [Beep] chair with the [Beep] and knees [Beep] is taking it [Beep] out that son [Beep]... King Richard: Good Lord, Gareth. Do you kiss my ring with that mouth?! "I'll be the one asking the questions around here! Actually, go ahead. I don't have a question ready..." (Pirate King) :) |
Episodio 1x5 2015-03-09 16:19:23King: He'll be here tonight as the sun has cast its last shadow upon the earth and the crescent moon is risen above the Eastern Ridge.Gareth: So, like 9:00? Chef: The King is having a secret meeting where I'm to serve snacks and a light refreshment as soon as the croaks of the frogs usher in the raven's last call. Madalena: So, like 9:00? Isabella: I'm supposed to bring Galavant to the King when the barking of the hounds wakens the fairies in the evening so that they may begin their nocturnal dance. Monk: So, like 9:00? Gareth: Why am I the only one who's ever on time? There should be a standardized system based on the rotation of the earth in relation to its position to the sun and the moon. King: You sound like a witch... :) |
Episodio 1x6 2015-05-15 13:18:54King Richard: Gareth, I know you're not a hugger, but if you were, I would wrap myself around you like a leather jacket made of love.Gareth: Mm. Xanax? Chef: Sooo much Xanax... ♪ ♫ Love is strange And sometimes kind of gross It’s embarrassingly gassy And it leaves its dirty underwear in piles around the place Love is rude It has a sort of smell And it thinks that you don’t notice And it blurts out things that make you want to smack its stupid face And its awkward and confusing It annoys you half to death Then it grins that dopey grin And you can’t catch your breath Love is strange And sometimes sorta smug And its really, really bossy And it messes with your head ‘til you’re a hopeless basket case And it’s stubborn, it’s insulting It’s obnoxious, it’s the worst You keep pushing it away And you fall in head first Love is strange And often pretty drunk It looks different without makeup And it’s nothing like the fairy tales you grow up dreaming of Love is weird Love is dumb Love is strange And that’s what makes it love ♪ ♫ :) |
Episodio 1x7 2015-07-05 15:10:40"This is a long time coming, brother! A duel to the death! And now, like every great King to come before us, we shall choose a champion to fight in our place while we watch from a safe distance while sloppily eating oversized turkey legs." (King Richard):) |
Episodio 1x8 2015-07-05 15:28:16"I'm not an animal. I mean, sure, I'll kidnap a woman and force her to marry me, but after that, I'm all about a woman's rights. I'm a modern, 13th-century man." (King Richard)♪ ♫ Our season ends right there With questions everywhere Like will the princess waste her whole life waiting? Will Gareth and the Queen Rule the entire scene? Will all this singing kill our Nielsen ratings? Sid, the peasants, the entire crew Will they be back for season two? Who knows? But if there are more shows Then off our hero goes And so the legend grows The legend known as Galavant ♪ ♫ :) |
Episodio 2x1 2016-02-21 16:46:59Sid: Aww, Gareth, are you asking me to teach you to read?Gareth: No! Reading is for morons who can't understand pictures. Just read it! Richard: Do you think my Uncle Keith might be gay? Galavant: Yes, Richard. Richard: Wow. Do you think his boyfriend knows? :) |
Episodio 2x2 2016-02-21 16:42:50Richard: Someone woke up on the wrong side of the dirt...Galavant: I'm sorry. I didn't sleep very well. I dreamt a very upsetting musical number. "Hey, can you get cancer from walking? Because I really feel like my feet are getting cancer!" (Richard) :) |
Episodio 2x3 2016-02-21 16:40:23"Democracy?! So, they would prefer to decide their fate by majority opinion rather than being ruled by me, whose right to kingship was passed down from ancestors said to be a god and a mermaid? Fools." (Richard):) |
Episodio 2x4 2016-02-21 16:38:42Galavant: You swallowed the jewel? It's huge! That's insane!Richard: No, what's insane is when it came out... "Me and Bobby?! She's like a sister! And not the kind of sister you marry..." (Richard) "A present. I got you the same exact earrings those queens had. Ups, I forgot to take the ears off..." (Gareth) :) |
Episodio 2x5 2016-02-21 16:33:19Galavant: I've been using so many horrible words to describe you that I've forgotten the one that describes you best.Richard: "Musky"? Galavant: Loyal. :) |
Episodio 2x6 2016-05-13 13:35:59Sir Arnold: I never thought I'd live to see my oldest son with such a bushy beard.Galavant: Huh, it's not bushy. Its correct for the period. :) |
Episodio 2x8 2016-05-13 13:34:27People: Catfight!Gareth: Finally. I've been waiting two seasons for this... :) |
Episodio 2x10 2016-05-13 13:32:05Richard: Ah, someone's daughter's gonna get a little 'woop-woop' tonight...Isabella's Parents: What the hell is wrong with you?! Richard: I honestly have no idea... ♪ ♪ There's not much left to tell And, hey, that's just as well Unless we get one more surprise renewal Now we'll probably have to go and get work On some cheap-ass cable network But the door is not quite shut So if we make the cut Here's what you'll see on "Galavant"! ♪ ♪ Parece que a porta se fechou mesmo... Até sempre, Galavant! King Richard para sempre no meu coração. ❤ :) |